Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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