So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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