I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize