i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
