We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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