seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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