I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
did i walk over a car last night?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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