Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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