ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
