you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
