I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
