there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
