my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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