So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
