2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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