: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize