chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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