ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Acid is not a monday night drug
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm both gender and math confused
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
