We're like a lot better than the average bears
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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