Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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