farters have to be the big spoon...
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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