they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
