yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
