a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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