Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize