just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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