I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
