nut hugger
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
