TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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