I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
