You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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