It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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