how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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