Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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