who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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