I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
