You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
