All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
