the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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