Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
