The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
