I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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