So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
