barbara walters just said penis...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
