I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize