Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
