Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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