Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Randomize
