Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He better not be in your backpack
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
