Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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