Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I think people are normalizing furries
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
