If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
