just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
