idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
