Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
