Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
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He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
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she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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