every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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