i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
