omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
from now on my penis is your penis
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize