so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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