Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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