Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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