im about as happy as oj after his trial
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
should my penis look like a turkey
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
